Turing's demon (IV)
We return to Al the Turing demon’s narrative. It seems like he might just about be ready to tell us what any of this has to do with online poker.
“Hey narrator, don’t get snarky – who’s telling this story? Me? Or you?”
Both of us actually.
“Exactly! And without me, you’re reduced to anecdotes about hitting one outers on the river, and calculations of the odds of there being three sets and three different straights on a single flop. So you’re going to let me tell this my way right?”
I suppose so.
“Darn tootin’. Or rather ‘Damn straight.’ Forgot for a moment there that we’re not allowed to use euphemisms – the big guy doesn’t approve of his name, or related concepts, not being taken in vain.” Al settled down into his seat again and looked pointedly at his glass which returned to its normal size, empty. As I went to get another Jameson’s he asked “No chance of a smoke is there? No, sorry forget I asked, don’t know what I was thinking. About as likely as flopping quad aces holding 2♣3♣.”
The glass did its shrinking thing again and Al took a sip “Nectar of the devils” he sighed contentedly. “Right, I was going to tell you what all this has to do with online poker. You’ll have to be patient, there’s still a bit more background to fill in.”
“Why am I not surprised?”
“Look, you’re even less necessary than the narrator – in fact if it weren’t for all your interruptions we’d have reached this point an episode or two ago. So just try to be quiet ok?”
“Ok, but you try to stick to some sort of reasonably linear narrative.”
“Fine, care to sign a contract to that effect? Never mind, never mind, just kidding. Right then, as I’m sure you know, the big guy has always had a special fondness for gamblers. So every year he takes a working vacation at the WSOP. After all, six of the traditional seven deadly sins are practically requirements for poker professionals or wannabe’s, and seven of the ten commandments are routinely broken at any poker tournament. He gets to unwind, nudge a few people down the wrong path here and there, and it’s all tax deductible.”
“Tax deductible?”
“Nothing is certain except death and taxes right? Well, one out of two anyhow. So, the big guy goes to the WSOP. Apparently he even plays some of the events – usually the lower buy in ones, he’s a bit publicity shy in a funny way. Though when Joe Hachem won, we all speculated a bit – he looked very familiar. But we decided the big guy would never be an Australian – something not quite right there. Jamie Gold on the other hand …”
Sorry, but we’re going to have to wrap it up again. I’ve got a $1.10 buy in turbo MTT starting in a few minutes.
“What? Oh all right, but next time give me a bit more warning,”
To be continued (of course).
“Hey narrator, don’t get snarky – who’s telling this story? Me? Or you?”
Both of us actually.
“Exactly! And without me, you’re reduced to anecdotes about hitting one outers on the river, and calculations of the odds of there being three sets and three different straights on a single flop. So you’re going to let me tell this my way right?”
I suppose so.
“Darn tootin’. Or rather ‘Damn straight.’ Forgot for a moment there that we’re not allowed to use euphemisms – the big guy doesn’t approve of his name, or related concepts, not being taken in vain.” Al settled down into his seat again and looked pointedly at his glass which returned to its normal size, empty. As I went to get another Jameson’s he asked “No chance of a smoke is there? No, sorry forget I asked, don’t know what I was thinking. About as likely as flopping quad aces holding 2♣3♣.”
The glass did its shrinking thing again and Al took a sip “Nectar of the devils” he sighed contentedly. “Right, I was going to tell you what all this has to do with online poker. You’ll have to be patient, there’s still a bit more background to fill in.”
“Why am I not surprised?”
“Look, you’re even less necessary than the narrator – in fact if it weren’t for all your interruptions we’d have reached this point an episode or two ago. So just try to be quiet ok?”
“Ok, but you try to stick to some sort of reasonably linear narrative.”
“Fine, care to sign a contract to that effect? Never mind, never mind, just kidding. Right then, as I’m sure you know, the big guy has always had a special fondness for gamblers. So every year he takes a working vacation at the WSOP. After all, six of the traditional seven deadly sins are practically requirements for poker professionals or wannabe’s, and seven of the ten commandments are routinely broken at any poker tournament. He gets to unwind, nudge a few people down the wrong path here and there, and it’s all tax deductible.”
“Tax deductible?”
“Nothing is certain except death and taxes right? Well, one out of two anyhow. So, the big guy goes to the WSOP. Apparently he even plays some of the events – usually the lower buy in ones, he’s a bit publicity shy in a funny way. Though when Joe Hachem won, we all speculated a bit – he looked very familiar. But we decided the big guy would never be an Australian – something not quite right there. Jamie Gold on the other hand …”Sorry, but we’re going to have to wrap it up again. I’ve got a $1.10 buy in turbo MTT starting in a few minutes.
“What? Oh all right, but next time give me a bit more warning,”
To be continued (of course).
Labels: fiction
posted by Michael Albert at 8:15 pm
1 Comments:
FYI I love this creative writing.
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