Turing's demon

Midway through a multi table tournament, my opponent had just hit runner runner flush to take out my bottom two pair, having put the money all in post flop with top pair and an overcard.

#$^&*((#!!!

A thumb high demon materialised beside my laptop, looked around briefly, and then started trying to squeeze his way through the USB port into the computer. It wasn’t a pretty sight, and it actually looked like he might succeed. I inverted a handy glass over top of him and went back to trying to build my now miniscule stack of chips into something useful.

Three minutes or so later, I had plenty of free time. I briefly contemplated playing a Sit and Go or three, but decided that I should make some effort to figure out just what was going on. I certainly suspected that my anti virus software was probably not up to dealing with demons.


Aside from his size, there were certain other non-demonic aspects to his appearance. In fact, he looked rather like a young Elvis Costello (from the My Aim Is True or This Year's Model covers) -- which is to say, thick glasses, and an air of general geekiness, but with a certain sparkle to the eyes. Goat's hooves and horns provided a few of the traditional demonic elements.

He seemed to be trying to talk to me, but of course I couldn't hear anything. I made a little pen out of some handy books, and lifted the glass.

"So, what are you doing here?" I asked.

"You're the one who performed the summoning ritual." he replied resentfully.

"What?"

"#$^&*((#!!! -- that's the magical incantation. We've had problems with it before. If you don't want to be bothered by demons every time you're in a cursing mood, just change a syllable or two, or we can put you on our 'no summoning' register."

"Ok, but why were you trying to get into my computer?"

"I saw that the summons was a mistake and was just trying to go home."

"You live in my computer? What's with that?"

His reply was traditional: "It's a long story. Can you get me something to sit on?"

(to be continued)