Turing's demon (V)

Al, the Turing demon, has told us that demonic influences were largely responsible for the rapid progression of comptuting. He has also indicated that Beelzebub himself is a frequent participant at the WSOP.

“Anyhow,” Al continued, “the big guy came back from the 2003 WSOP in quite an excited state, even for him. I think Chris Moneymaker’s win convinced him that the online poker boom was here to stay. He called together a convocation of demons and addressed us thusly:”

At this, Al’s form changed into a pretty good (if miniature) version of the classical Satanic image. His voice acquired rather disturbing harmonics in several octaves.

Gather ye round oh my minions and hear the great news that your master brings you. My devious and complex plans for the automatic computing devices used by puny mortals have finally come to fruition and now is the time for us to strike our greatest blows against the forces of light that have been seen in many years.

I sniffed, and noted a faint smell of sulfur in the air. “Hey, no smoking remember!”

Al returned to his customary form. “Sorry about that. Say, do you mind if I just paraphrase? The big guy can be a bit turgid in full Supreme Evil Beingmode and doing the voice plays hell with my vocal cords.” With a blush, he added “Though I did win the Beelzy three millennia running for my impressions of him.” He paused and looked up “Glad to see the product placements are back. That one’s a bit obscure though isn’t it? You’d have to have read the book already to spot the reference.”

Well, think of it as a compliment, I’ve been enthralled. What do you think of the new hoverlinks? Cooleh?

“Yes, yes, very nice. ‘Cool’? What decadewere you born in? Though, to be fair, as pop culture expressions go, it’s had remarkable longevity. I think the current spelling though is ‘kewl’ and even that may be a bit passé. Now, where was I?”

“Paraphrasing the big guy’s speech.”

“So anyway, ‘The love of money is the root of all evil’ and there’s nothing that gets more in the way of love for you humans than fickleness. And gambling, is the quintessence of that fickleness – money comes and money goes. It’s anything but faithful, and ever so frustrating. When gambling took place in casinos, or back rooms, or on the street, and things went poorly, you always had a convenient scapegoat. And certainly, there were enough people dealing seconds, or colluding, that we had a hard time exerting effective influence. But online, that’s a whole different cauldron of newts’ eyes.”

“You don’t mean?” I gasped dramatically.

“That’s right, go ahead, say it.”

“Bad beats are the devil’s work?” I was stunned, and then overcome with doubt “But …”

“Sorry mate, it’ll have to wait. I see the narrator looking meaningfully at his watch again. Probably wants his breakfast or something.”

To be continued.