Jeeves plays poker (I)
It was a bright morning in London. My man, Jeeves, had just brought in my tea and the papers when I bearded him, as I believe the expression has it, on a topic, which had been troubling me for some days. "I say Jeeves, what do you know of this international poker business?"
"International poker sir? Are you sure that was the expression?"
"Perhaps it was internecine, or internal, or intermittent. A chap can't be expected to keep these details straight."
"Might it have been 'internet poker' sir?"
"That's it, got it in one, well done. Only Freddie Bullivant down at the Drones was on at me about it the other day: 'Bertie', he said, 'you must get signed up with this internet poker wheeze. It's a license to print money, and in just a few more weeks I fully expect to have put together the necessary capital so that I can pop the question to Elizabeth.' You know that Freddie's been a bit on his uppers recently, and the course of true love does never run smoothly etc. when that's the case"
"So I have been told sir. Are you sure that you wish to take up his suggestion? Your experiences in the world of wagering have not been the most happy ones as I recall."
"Pish, posh" I retorted with asperity. Doesn't do to let Jeeves, even with his enormous brain, get above his station. "If Freddie can gather in the readies doing it, then anyone can. Besides, he says it's not gambling at all -- it's a game of skill. So how does it work? He talked some rubbish about them passing you cards down a series of tubes -- I can't see how they could carry that off, they'd get quite creased and it would take ages."
"No indeed sir, the process is entirely electronic. You must first 'sign on' to your computer and 'connect' to the internet."
"That's the box in the corner, which I see you banging away at occasionally isn't it? I thought it was just some sort of convenient method for placing orders at Fortnum and Mason's"
"It can be used for that purpose as well sir. But in this case, it allows you to connect with group of like minded individuals who also wish to engage in the pursuit of that quintessentially American pastime of poker. It might be best if I demonstrated."
"What? You mean to say that you take part?"
"I dabble sir, but only, of course, when my services are not required."
"I should hope so. Well, let's have a flutter then."
"International poker sir? Are you sure that was the expression?"
"Perhaps it was internecine, or internal, or intermittent. A chap can't be expected to keep these details straight."
"Might it have been 'internet poker' sir?"
"That's it, got it in one, well done. Only Freddie Bullivant down at the Drones was on at me about it the other day: 'Bertie', he said, 'you must get signed up with this internet poker wheeze. It's a license to print money, and in just a few more weeks I fully expect to have put together the necessary capital so that I can pop the question to Elizabeth.' You know that Freddie's been a bit on his uppers recently, and the course of true love does never run smoothly etc. when that's the case"
"So I have been told sir. Are you sure that you wish to take up his suggestion? Your experiences in the world of wagering have not been the most happy ones as I recall."
"Pish, posh" I retorted with asperity. Doesn't do to let Jeeves, even with his enormous brain, get above his station. "If Freddie can gather in the readies doing it, then anyone can. Besides, he says it's not gambling at all -- it's a game of skill. So how does it work? He talked some rubbish about them passing you cards down a series of tubes -- I can't see how they could carry that off, they'd get quite creased and it would take ages."
"No indeed sir, the process is entirely electronic. You must first 'sign on' to your computer and 'connect' to the internet."
"That's the box in the corner, which I see you banging away at occasionally isn't it? I thought it was just some sort of convenient method for placing orders at Fortnum and Mason's"
"It can be used for that purpose as well sir. But in this case, it allows you to connect with group of like minded individuals who also wish to engage in the pursuit of that quintessentially American pastime of poker. It might be best if I demonstrated."
"What? You mean to say that you take part?"
"I dabble sir, but only, of course, when my services are not required."
"I should hope so. Well, let's have a flutter then."
Labels: fiction
posted by Michael Albert at 7:16 pm
2 Comments:
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Haha...when I went to fetch my dictionary, I said to myself, "Damn Iakaris and his big words again."
Then I realized who's blog I was reading.
Nice post. Perhaps I'll get to expanding my vocabulary one of these days.
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